This thing called love is a very complex yet intriguing emotion. A lot of people go through series of unnecessary and avoidable heartbreak and failed relationships all because they thought their partner was the one or because they thought they were completely head over heels in love or for so many other mundane reasons. It is a fact of life that we will go through heartbreak, failed relationships, but a lot of these can be avoided if you are able to pick up on these mentioned qualities and traits. It is always easy to see the positive and good qualities of a person, but harder to see the negative and if at all we do see the negative qualities; we can easily come up with excuses for them. Try looking out for any of these qualities and traits in your relationship to know if you are on the right track.
- Know what you are looking for and never settle for less. Make a list of good qualities that you want in a man/woman. And also know what you want out of the relationship e.g. a husband, a wife? Ask yourself “Does this person have the qualities I want”?
- Don’t go into a relationship with the mindset/aim of changing him/her to what you want. You should be able to accept him/her for who he/she is not what you want him/her to be. If you are looking for someone who is outgoing and funny, don’t date someone who is an introvert and a bookworm or if you are a religious person, don’t date an atheist. It simply won’t work. With time, your partner may be willing to be that person you want them to be but it puts an unnecessary strain on the relationship. It is very possible that they will change but don’t expect it to happen overnight. Let your life be a living example of what you want.
- No matter how in love or interested you are with your partner, be sure to tell yourself the truth. Look out for his good and bad qualities. Is he/she domineering, violent, aggressive, disrespectful etc. Those are good indications of what your future with him/her will be like.
- Be yourself no matter what. Relationships can be strenuous and can cause you to change or to be someone you are not just to impress and make your partner happy or get your partners attention. You may not be able to carry on with the act for a long time before it wears off, which it eventually will.
- The level of commitment in the relationship and also in one another is a sure sign to know where the relationship is leading to. How serious or unserious you are, or how connected or unconnected you are to one another.
- Loyalty is very essential in a relationship. Your devotion to your partner tells a great deal about the love you have for your partner. Be faithful to him/her.
- Honesty is also another important quality to look out for. He/she should be a man/woman of his/her words.
- Have respect for one another, not only when you are together but also when you are out with friends.
- Plan together. Carry each other along when making a major decision.
- You’ll know you are along the right path when words like mine, me, myself and I are replaced with we, ours and us.
- When he/she is willing to accept you for whom you are, he/she learns to love your imperfections perfectly.
- Unwillingness/ willingness to make sacrifices for you will help you know if your partner is the one.
- He/she dreams with you and not of you.
There are so many other qualities to look out for. Does he/she include you in his/her family and friends activities? Be optimistic but don’t let your feelings cloud your judgement. When you see something wrong acknowledge it for what it is. Come to the realisation that any relationship you engage in could lead to marriage. With this, you will be able to delve in with seriousness because he/she could be your potential wife/husband.
Be truthful to yourself and one another. If the relationship is leading to a dead end, it is best you cut the journey short. A broken/failed relationship is far better than a broken/failed marriage. Find out if he/she cares about your wellbeing and see if he/she shows interest in your future.
Do not depend on your partner to meet all your needs in the relationship or else you should be ready for a disappointment at some point. He/she is human just as you are. He/she has flaws. Be ready for the good, bad and ugly.
Also, remember that many great relationships started on the basis of friendship. You will be able to evaluate and asses yourselves without the many strains that come with relationships. But above all, seek the face of God, for He is the only one that can guide you on the right part.
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